all the news that print will fit.
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| notes from underground - societal whispers all the news that print will fit. |
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Saturday, June 14, 2003 np: i was thinking. last summer as i was driving home one night there was an incident out on the road involving a downed power line. the cause was a car that had taken a head on collision with a power pole. and i made the mistake of looking a bit too long. i looked up in time to hit the brakes, but not in time to hit them long enough. i rear ended the car stopped in front of me. and narrowly avoided a ticket from the cops nearby. the woman inside was fine and she was quite understanding, claiming to have done precisely the same thing before. all was settled via insurance and so forth. today, i lost the cool that i like to think settles over me most times, despite my tendency to get riled up. retail work is a mental strain. especially if you have to quasi-harass people about things in order to do your job. i have to present each customer at my register with the speil about our discount cards. and today, in the middle of one of only two sentences i make myself say to every customer, she cut me off. the exchange went like this: me: "Do you have our discount card?" her: "No." me: "Would you be interes..." (at this point, she interrupts.) her: "No, I don't need one." i don't mind people saying no to the card. i really don't care outside of the extra boost to my paycheck it gives me to sell them. my qualm with her interruption was that i was simply trying to do my job. and i expect people to at least be considerate enough to let me finish what i'm saying. they can say 'no' immediately. whatever. cutting me off just seems insulting and rude. my response to her: me: "How do you know what I was going to say?" her: "I just heard you explain it to that other customer." me: "Well, it'd be nice if you'd be considerate enough to let me finish my statement and not interrupt me." her: "I hope that's the worst thing that ever happens to you." me: "Don't worry. It's not." after i simmered down, i immediately regretted my response to her. not because i didn't still feel she was being rude to me. customers are insulting, one way or another, to me and other retail folks every day. and retail workers, in one way or another, are insulting in return or even initially. it just wasn't the thing to do, from a quaker/non-violent perspective. that sounds a bit far fetched, but controlling the bile of responses to things that singe your ego is one of the keys to approaching things in a non-violent way. violence isn't necessarily physical. it's as much verbal and mental as anything. and my response to that lady was the incorrect thing. and for that i apologize. it connects to the first story through my lack of attentive nature. in today's instance i wasn't aware of how i was reacting and how i was both interpreting and responding to the actions. the same with failing to notice the car in front of me and plowing ahead. retail work has a tendency to foster a dislike for humanity. i don't know what it is about working in a retail setting that cultivates only negative interactions with customers, but that is the case. and i can't stay in it much longer. this summer has been especially trying. but having been at retail work in one form or another for 3 years (2 1/2 at this one particular store), i can understand where i've arrived. as much as i love my co-workers, they are as constantly beaten under by their interactions with people on the floor as well. my passion outweighs my trials. i hope you all can tell by the posts in this journal. all this political stuff that i rant on and on about. all stems from the passion i hold inside me. the hope of better things. and my intentions to do what i can to help them come to fruition. after i felt defeated for having responded in such a poor manner to that woman earlier today, i was reminded of a quote by nelson mandella that is repeated by hillary clinton in her new book, living history. i'm paraphrasing it here: the measure of greatness isn't having never fallen..but rather, how many times you rise up after falling. there is nothing to be learned where you constantly succeed. there is everything to be gained where you routinely fail. it's not such a bad world sometimes. posted by J. Neas | 6/14/2003 03:21:00 AM
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